I felt of it's worn cotton, looked through it's tattered cross stitching, saw the cast iron placed over the opening in the Great Majestic, wiped the downward trickling tear from my cheek, then felt of the rush of emotion charging my soul.
It's little remnants of color sneaking through inside the pocket, permitted me to go back some 55 years to when Momma had had me sit at her treadle, as she patiently taught me to rock my feet forward and back, to the sweet melody of the Singer.
Now, all these long years past, I could feel the ebb and tide of the cast iron beneath my feet, pumping the little needle up and down as it made its impact upon the newly laundered cotton.
Holding the apron of my youth, gripped between fingers that so long ago, had been thrust into the air in triumph, at completion of my first sewing project, I stood now, engulfed by the transport of my memories.
I had walked over to the rake head, where I kept my treasured aprons, without a thought given to the chore. I reached for the purple straight front, my own daughter had made for me, as a youngster, only to knock Mommas apron from its designated hook. As I reached to pick it up, it was as if all of the liquids contained in my head rushed to drop from my eyes!
Where had the emotion come from? I had not been thinking about Momma, nor the loss of her, I had merely reached for my apron of choice to begin my daily duties. Wow, what a rush!
This little flowered apron had opened closets I had not entered for many years. Closets in my soul, where I had closed doors without realizing it, until now. Perhaps all of life is like that, when we are exposed to something we are incapable of dealing with at the time, we have a tendency to hide it away in a box and put it in a closet, until we one day find that by choice, or by design, it is opened and we must deal with the contents.
Many times it is easier to sit in prayer, or contemplation, stillness, if you will, and hear what it is that needs to be dealt with at our current level of comprehension. God will reveal issues that we need to consider. There will be times when we find we have unforgiven offenses, or perhaps offenses we need ask forgiveness for, but there will be those things that we have tucked away, that need attention.
It is much easier to open the closets of our hearts and look at the issues we have stored there, by choice, rather than by design. By design, I mean, God knows what it takes for us to mature in our faith, if we have hidden issues that hinder our growth, if we seek Him, He will reveal them to us. We may not always like how He chooses to expose them, however, we can always be assured it will be for our best, to set right, anything that we have left unattended.
I don't know if this little purple apron was made for me, so long ago for just this day, or not, but I do know that standing here, feeling its worn cotton, has brought about a release of emotion I had held in check, far too long.
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